Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
