Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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