mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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