if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
