This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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