oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
