we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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