hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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