his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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