In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
