i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
