Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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