I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
