ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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