i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
