he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
A bitchslap is in order.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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