omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
