She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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