I seem to have left my pride at pride
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
