Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
