So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
