Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
