Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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