he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
