Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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