Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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