Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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