I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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