R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
