dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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