I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
