Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
