Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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