I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
