hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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