My balls are so social today.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
