it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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