it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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