somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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