Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
