i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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