absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
