i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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