its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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