so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
