He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
