that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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