Duck Duck Cougar?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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