Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize