He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you will always have a special place in my vag
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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