bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
