To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
