Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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