ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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