yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
