If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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