We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is classic penis vs brain.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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