Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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