he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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