Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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